Tuesday, July 21, 2009

200,000 years and my mind is a purple moon

as i was jogging around a pond the other night, these words came into to my mind:

my mind is a purple moon.  

god is a weeping willow with lit street lamps.

had it been a few months ago, i would have jotted these ideas down when i got home and tried to work them into a chapter somehow.  

they felt so inspired--how could i not?

anyway, i did end up typing them into my phone, then forgot all about it.

i imagine poems are written this way, are they not?  voices in our heads?  "divine words" in our minds? 

i guess i cannot say--not being a poet.

but what's different about today than every other day in the past ten years is that i now have no desire to work these airy images into fiction.  

instead, i'm asking myself:  how would these ideas help someone?  would they help someone?

maybe.  but the likelihood seems slim.

today, i'm choosing to W.A.I.T. 

to ask myself: Why Am I Talking?

am i talking because i want to sound creative?  because i want you to think i'm smart?  or frenetic and artsy?  or deep?  

as a friend of mine always says:  so, how does this change things?  

this question used to drive me berserk.  we should not expect art to change things, my mind would silently retort.

but these days, i'm asking myself the same damn question.  

if art cannot change things, why is it there?  

creativity for creativity's sake can be a wonderful thing.  

but if i find myself being creative for creativity's sake, i've got to ask myself: why am i talking?

DNA and fossil evidence suggests modern humans originated about 200,000 years ago.

that equates to 73 million days humankind has woken up and gone to bed on the planet earth.

73 million days into this thing, while jogging around a pond, a voice comes into my head and says to me:  my mind is a purple moon.  

not only that.  my intuition suggests to me that these words are worthy of writing down.  of making a record of them for myself and for others.

and here i am, on a computer, recording them in a blog, where they are accessible to the 1.6 billion people around the globe who have internet access.  

does this change anything?  

shouldn't i--we, as a human race--be solving larger problems...more evolved problems?  

73 million days into this thing, and people are bombing the jakarta ritz hotel.  killing each other with guns.  believing in the infallibility of the pope.  failing to understand the reality of supply and demand.  

where are we?

200,000 years into this thing and my mind is a purple moon.


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